Hove

I'm just a no-hoper. As Trevor Bailey once said; can't bat, can't bowl, can’t field. Lancashire have signed me as chief drinks waiter. They're all complete cunts.

I thought I'd set up a blog so I could dish the dirt on my team mates. They are a right bunch of wankers.

We're here at the county ground at Hove. What a shit hole! The laptops have been banned so I'm sending this through my telex machine.


Murk Chilly scored 89 today, off just 7000 deliveries. He's been sleeping with Iron Powers so I'm surprised he managed such a feet of endurance. Hansom Denis took ‘6 for’ in their first innings, but I’m sure he’ll spray it around like Bolton’s answer to Barry Manilow in their next dig.