It's Twue It's Twue Blazing Saddles

New Nuts

Hell’s teeth! While sitting in the dressing room toilet cubicle (the one with the toilet that isn’t blocked) I overheard Peter Coach telling Barry that he was going to be using brand new balls for this afternoon’s net session. There is no way I want to stand in a net while Barry’s bowling with a hard ball. I know he normally needs a cut strip the width of the M62 to save the ball getting lost in the nettles, but every now and again something goes wrong with his action and he gets one straight. It all sounds bloody dangerous to me.

So, Hansom Denis took some more wickets - big deal. Anyone would think that his mastery of seam position was some sort of talent. I've heard he swings it both ways.....'nuff said.

Keedy got some wickets with long-hops and Murk Chilly managed to catch something other than the pox.

I'm sitting in the bus next to Pearl Hirton. He's very excited because he's been given the designation of 'one to watch ' by someone called kong cratchett.

Hove

I'm just a no-hoper. As Trevor Bailey once said; can't bat, can't bowl, can’t field. Lancashire have signed me as chief drinks waiter. They're all complete cunts.

I thought I'd set up a blog so I could dish the dirt on my team mates. They are a right bunch of wankers.

We're here at the county ground at Hove. What a shit hole! The laptops have been banned so I'm sending this through my telex machine.


Murk Chilly scored 89 today, off just 7000 deliveries. He's been sleeping with Iron Powers so I'm surprised he managed such a feet of endurance. Hansom Denis took ‘6 for’ in their first innings, but I’m sure he’ll spray it around like Bolton’s answer to Barry Manilow in their next dig.